FAMILY TALK: Habits
Pastor Steven Osborne
Transcribed by DaVinci Resolve 18.6
Growing in a Greenhouse
Let’s start. The image I want to give you this morning is the image of a greenhouse as we think about this year. Now, growing up, my family—I can’t remember at what age—but we had this really ugly little cheap greenhouse in our backyard. But it was really fun to help my dad build this thing, and put in little sprayers, and then to kind of just see the different plants and herbs and veggies in it. But it was a lot of work, and I don’t think that they built really good habits to keep it up. I know at some point that kind of fizzled all out, right? And it just kind of probably fell apart. But it was really a lot of fun to… when everyone was excited about that to be part of that. And I know some of you have amazing greenhouses and really cool. And maybe the last two years, we’ve started to experiment on a very small level. We’ve got just, on our deck, some herbs and some veggies. Last year I planted some chilies. It was so cute to see those little chilies come up, right? And then it is so cute when I see Venessa runs out there and she grabs some of the herbs, and when she’s all bragging, “Oh, I put this in our dinner.” There’s just something special about that, right? It almost wanna makes you feel like going out there and hunt and kill something and say, “Okay, let’s eat this,” right? Yeah, and then I just go to Super One. But as we think about a greenhouse, I believe that there’s very important things that we can learn spiritually as we reflect on what happens in a greenhouse.
And I want to say—so we’re getting back to the habits—but just thinking about this year, even about the habit of coming to church. Why do we show up Sunday after Sunday? Why are you so faithful for showing up? What’s your “why” that drives you to be here? And why is it important for you, right? And you all might have different things and answers to that question. And I want to share with you a couple of things just as a pastor. I hope you could see this as a greenhouse, right, for several things. And kind of the passage that I was reflecting on, Ephesians chapter 3, it says,
So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all of the Lord’s holy people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
And so here’s my “why” for you: really for us to show up on a Sunday morning and to make your spiritual journey a priority is to say, “I want to grow. I want to allow my roots to grow wide and deep in my relationship with God.” And church plays a vital role in that. That is one piece of the pie. Obviously, you can’t say, “Oh, I’m just going to grow my roots wide and deep if I show up one hour on a Sunday morning,” right? It is one piece to that. There’s some other habits and things that needs to be in place in your life so that you can grow. And we all are growing. We all need to grow. Are you ready to grow this year in your faith? Wow. Thank you, Brandon. I’m excited to see what the Lord’s going to do in your life this year. So Brandon and I will be having a church service in the Remedy Room if anybody else wants to join us. Are you excited to grow in your faith this year? Alright? We have to be excited. We cannot allow ourselves to just become stagnant.
And so even asking yourself, looking back over 2023—did you grow? Do you feel that you’ve grown deeper in your love and understanding of who God is, deeper in His love for you? I mean, just think about some of the areas that you feel like you have really grown in your spiritual maturity with God. And this is what I want for us as a church. I want us to grow. I want us to grow in our revelation, our understanding on how much God loves us, and in our knowledge of Him. I want us to grow in the area of prayer, of spiritual disciplines, in the area of service, right? There’s just so many aspects to it. And so that’s really expectation. So again, when we come together on a Sunday morning, see this as a greenhouse where you can grow your roots, right?
One thing, obviously, especially in this area, a greenhouse creates that protection and shelter. Our spiritual journey requires the shelter of prayer, community, and God’s presence, right? There’s no way that those plants and veggies can make it in Duluth in December outside, or in January, right? Most Africans don’t even make it outside. So I really need this protection and shelter.
And again, just to grow deep and healthy roots. So again, is this happening? I’m not just talking about intellectual information. All of those things are needed. That is one, again, a step that will help us to grow deeper, right? But is your faith and your roots really growing?
And then the pruning. I mean, in church, you will hear stuff that will challenge you, that will prune as you read God’s Word. And again, that’s a necessary step for us to experience so that you can grow and mature in your relationship with Him.
Habits
All right, so let’s look at habits. Now, I looked at several passages, and these passages that I’m going to share with you, none of them except one really spells out the word “habit,” right? But I believe that the principle is in there for us to—that we need so that we can be successful in some of these passages. But the one passage—I believe this was in the ESV—is Hebrews 10. It’s kind of a negative one. Hebrews 10, verse 24 and 25 says,
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.
Now, I think that even talks about a habit, right? How do you create that into your lives where we can stir one another up, encourage one another to love and to good works? For most of—maybe for us in Minnesota, that comes naturally, right? We’re all Minnesota nice, but again, you have to be intentional about it. There’s maybe some habits that needs to happen.
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another and all the more as you see the day drawing near.
But here he’s speaking to a negative habit. It’s like, “Man, there’s some people that is falling into the habit of not showing up to church.” Now, let me make this clear again. You don’t need the church to go to heaven, amen? The church cannot save you. Only Jesus can do that, right? But the church is really a place, I believe, of that protection. It creates an environment where we can grow together, because it is really hard, I believe, to grow on your own. And we need that accountability. There’s something special about coming together on Sunday morning and worshipping, listening to God’s Word together, listening to testimonies. And so the church is really—well, first of all, the church is really important to God, right? And so it needs to be important, and it plays a vital role in our spiritual development. And that’s why you are all here this morning.
And so the author of Hebrews is just reminding us, like, “Man, some of you fell into the habit of not attending church.” And that happens so quickly. Again, I don’t know if you, just even in college, and maybe, we said, my parents were really good in creating a habit in us to go to church and to go to Sunday school. But it’s so easy sometimes to grow out of that habit. You’ve maybe missed one Sunday, and then you’ve missed another Sunday, and then Satan or life will throw something else at you. Now it’s the third Sunday, and now it’s total chaos, and it’s hard for you to get back into that rhythm of being part of the faith community. And you didn’t plan it. You weren’t intentional about it. It just happened, right?
And we are creatures of habit. And habits are not easy to—healthy habits are not easy to develop, right? I think it’s hard. I started to really study habits again in June in preparation just for the new year and even for just this talk. And so I read several books. I listened to many, many different sermons. Craig Groeschel’s got great sermons. If you Google Craig Groeschel, he’s got some podcasts on habits and biblical perspective. Really enjoyed it. Our staff works through a lot of those in some of our staff meetings. And just I wanted to understand how bad and healthy habits form, because some habits, unhealthy habits, really don’t have maybe major consequences in our lives. But there’s some habits, if we—negative, messy habits that if we allow that, that it can affect our marriages, it can affect our relationship with God, it can really steal from God’s plan and purpose for your life, right? And so we want to make sure that we deal with those things from a biblical perspective and habits.
Now, again, just some of the passages that I think that it speaks to the principle of habits, right? First Corinthians chapter nine:
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, I do not run like someone running aimlessly. I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
So this whole thing, when we think about an athlete and stuff, they have some discipline, they have some habits that’s in their lives. I’m always amazed when I see some of these athletes, and some of you that are—that you have trained yourself running, even like early mornings in wintertime when I want to be in bed. You know, at five in the morning, there’s some of you that are already running, and then I just pray for you. It’s like, nobody should be running in January in Duluth, right? But they have created that habit, and if you talk to them, it doesn’t just happen overnight. They’ve been doing—for most of them—have been doing that for a long period of time, where that’s just become a habit in their lives.
But really, this challenge to us to think about discipline and habits so that we can win that prize. What are things that we need to set into place? He’s using the image of an athlete. They have to practice, they have to eat right, all of the things that goes along with that. What are things in our lives, habits that needs to be in place so that we can be running this spiritual race successfully, right? And I have my own habits that I got to figure out. There’s some really good healthy habits that I have. One of the healthy habits for us: we really have devotional time in the morning—Venessa and I pray together, we’ll read a devotional; and I feel it if we’ve missed that. Sunday mornings, I usually miss it; The Men’s Fraternity mornings I’m out too early, then I’ll miss it with her. But otherwise really try not to miss that. And now that’s just easy. It wasn’t easy in the beginning. It was even awkward in the beginning. I don’t know if you’ve tried to pray with your spouse, right? In the beginning, it’s like, “Man, this feels a little weird and awkward.” And we just had to kind of work through that. And so, but that’s an important piece.
So what are some disciplines and habits, healthy habits, that you need to develop in your life this year to become healthy, to be in this greenhouse where your roots will grow deep and strong? Because if we’re—God can really use us as a church when we become healthy, right? And he wants this place to be a place where people from the community, from the outside, can come in, that doesn’t have all of this figured out, where they can come in, and where we can be healthy and we can encourage them in their faith journey as well, right? And to instill healthy habits in their life. But right now as a team member, as we paddle together, right, you want to do everything you can to be healthy, to be on top of your game because we’re in this together. It’s the same thing for us as staff, right? It’s like, I don’t want to bomb. I try. All of us come ready every day, every week. We try and improve ourselves. We try to be on top of our game, because it’s really hard for me to know I disappointed my team, right?
And so, is—what are the junk that I need to figure out in my life to make sure that I bring my best game to the church, because it’s worth it, and to my team, because it’s worth it? What are things in your life that you got to deal with to become healthy? Don’t let another year go by where you’re not dealing with it. And that sometimes is the hardest step. That first step is just to identify what are bad habits.
Here’s another one that requires habit and discipline: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
1 Thessalonians, “Rejoice always.” Who’s in that habit? Who rejoices always? I sure didn’t rejoice yesterday when I had to go and clean my driveway, right? “Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” All of this takes discipline, and this needs to become a habit in our lives as believers. How are we doing in this area? All right?
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they’re old they will not turn from it.” That takes spiritual habits and disciplines to teach into the lives of our kids, right? It’s not just going to happen overnight. None of us just falls into success.
Colossians chapter 3, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” Again, as a habit and a discipline that we need to create in our lives. Give you several quotes here as we think about this topic on habits:
“Good habits are difficult to start because the pain comes now and the payoff is in the future. Bad habits are difficult to stop because the payoff comes now and the pain is in the future.” So true, right? We want that immediate satisfaction. Really—if I’m just very vulnerable again with you this morning—over the years, food and not eating healthy has been a big issue in my life, right? And I’ll get back to some of the other steps here. And so it’s a constant battle on how do you beat this thing? It’s easy to just say, “Oh, let’s pray about it,” but there’s more to it, to some of that, right? And I’ll come back to that statement now.
“Successful people do consistently what other people do occasionally.” Also Craig Groeschel.
And then, “If you don’t plan for success, you’re planning to fail.” I think this has been a really big takeaway for me over the last several years on this topic of habits, it is, “How do I really create that structure? How do I become intentional in some of these things in my life?” So I want to share with you next steps, right? We’ll be quick.
Next Steps
Number one: Identify bad habits. Now you might have a long list, but also identify the good habits in your life, right? Celebrate those. Those are good things to have, and yay, you go, right? Continue with those good habits, but identify the bad habits. Maybe you break that up into smaller categories. Maybe you say, “What’s some bad habits as a husband,” right? I don’t know if you’re brave enough to ask your spouse, because your list might grow. What are some bad habits that you have maybe as a father, or in the workplace, in your spiritual journey, in your finances? Start there, and then don’t try and tackle all of it in one year and overnight. You’re going to need some time, right? Work on one. Get the hang over one. But identify—start to write it down. If you have a journal, write it down and say, “Lord, with your help I can have victory over this thing. And I’m going to beat this thing. If this is a bad habit, I’m giving it to you. Help me with self discipline, because I want to grow this year in my faith journey.”
And if we’re honest, a lot of things—and you’ll even see here as we maybe identify some bad habits—you’ve got substance abuse. Maybe it’s stress. This was a big one for me, how I handled stress. I didn’t deal with that in healthy ways. Gambling. Social media. Self-harm, right? That list can kind of go on and on. And even just looking at all of these, all of these habits, bad habits, can really profoundly impact your relationship with your family. It can profoundly impact your relationship with God and with the church. And so it is vital that we figure this out with God’s help, right? And take some of those next steps. Do whatever you can to say, “I’m going to beat this habit, bad habit, this year, and I’m going to create a new healthy habit.”
And so like I said, it is not easy. I don’t want you to go away here today and just think, “Oh it’s easy.” As I said, for me, one bad habit is not eating healthy, right? And I had to kind of identify on what are some of the lies around that bad habit? You know, even when we think about the topic of “comfort food,” right? We say, “Oh, comfort food.” There’s a whole, you know, several cookbooks on comfort food, and especially this time of the year, it’s like, “Man give me comfort food. Give me chili and…” you know? And so for me it’s been how I have dealt with stress. And so I can feel like, “Oh I need to snack on something. Give me nuts or chips” when I’m stressed out. And so then I run to that, and it’s like, “Oh that’s going to bring me comfort,” but that’s a lie, right? Food cannot bring me comfort. There’s no such thing. That is truly a lie. And so then, so one of the practices that I have done over the years for me in this area is just to say, “Okay, am I eating now because I’m stressed, or am I eating now because I’m hungry?” And a lot of times it’s, “Oh, I’m eating now because I’m stressed.” And then I’ll go, “Okay, so what Steven?” and then I eat some more nuts, right? But then it’s like that discipline to say—to just pause in that moment and to realize like, “Hey, my… there’s a lie here that I’m believing.” What if, instead of going to the sweet stuff or the salty stuff, to say, “God, let me just—I’m going to step away here and take a moment, and I’m just going to bring my heart. I’m stressed out, and this is a great moment for me to just pray. And what does your Word say about experiencing peace and joy?” And that has been tremendous. That has been so helpful for me. But again, it’s a habit. And then there’s months that it goes well, and then you get Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I got to go back to in some good habits this year.
So, and I want to—just little plug for habits. A lot of times we fail, because again it is hard, habits are so hard, and in your developing of new and healthy habits, sometimes you might fail. And I don’t know if some of you are wired this way, but at least for me, it is easy then to kind of throw the whole thing out of the window when you have failed. You know, you’ve made some mistakes, and it’s like, “Oh this doesn’t work, you’ve messed up.” But a key thing is to just say, “Man, I’ve messed up in this moment. I don’t have to throw this whole thing out of the window. Let me—I have another opportunity. Today’s a new day. Now I get to make a good decision and a healthy habit on my next meal, and that will have an impact on me physically.” And again, you might think, “Oh, food is not a big deal,” but it’s a big deal for me in the sense of all of the demands and stress, and for me to be a good pastor, it’s really important, right, to be healthy, to be a good husband, to be to be engaged, and so that is part of my “why.” It’s like that really drives me. So, but you might have to ask yourself what are some of the lies that you believe.
All right, next step: Create a habit of putting what is good for your soul first. A lot of times, we can make all kinds of things a priority on our habit list. I want to say as you start, and you start to identify bad habits, look for things that will impact your soul, your relationship with God, first, right? Make that… get that down. This is vital. And so work with that one. Give yourself grace. Figure out some tools that will help you in that process. But don’t start with the smaller things; really see, “what are things that impacts my relationship with God in a negative way?”
And then last thing, just kind of a practical piece here is—actually the prayer team, Mike reminded me of this morning as well—there’s a term “habit stacking” that’s been really helpful. And so again, when you do Craig Groeschel, some of those books, this is very well known, habit stacking. So we kind of built one habit on another habit. I’ve shared this maybe last year, and I’ve heard so many comments, people say, “Oh, that was really helpful,” so I want to share that again. So, I’m really bad at drinking water. I don’t drink enough water in the day. I don’t get to my eight glasses, right? Really hard. And coffee, very easy, right? I get my ten cups in. And so one of the habits for me, as soon as I get up in the morning, as I turn on the kettle, I’m not allowed to drink my first cup of coffee until I’ve had my first glass of water. And so there’s kind of that trigger for me, it’s like, oh, I turn on the kettle, but then I go and drink a glass of water. And so now that has really become easier for me. And so, you know, just to kind of stack. I’ve heard different things where people, like with push-ups, they’ll—every time that they turn on the TV remote they’ll do ten push-ups, right? Just kind of stacking some of those healthy habits on top of each other, and that has really been very helpful for me.
But many great tools; find out what works for you. Amen? And the key piece for us, just this year, is work—allow the Holy Spirit to work in you. Be intentional to say, “I want to look differently spiritually in my spiritual journey next year this time.” Don’t be stagnant. Challenge yourself. Grow, because we become better when you’re better. And our goal here at Salem is really to be a church where we become whole on all aspects of life—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. And so we want to just encourage you to be part of that journey.
