I’M NOT OK: Near to the Brokenhearted
Pastor Steven Osborne
Transcribed by PulpitAI (with edits)
Being Vulnerable
I am sitting this morning, so this is not usually normal for me, this format, but it’s intentional, because I want to share a little bit with you this morning from my heart and obviously what God is doing, and I want to be transparent, and I don’t want to hide behind the pulpit, and I don’t want to get too overly passionate and excited if I maybe start to walk up and down here. So that’s why I’m sitting.
I’m trying to think. This is… So last week, I think this was Monday or Tuesday, I do my best to kind of get at least an idea and a sermon outlined for three to six months, right? And so I don’t have all of the sermons, but kind of the topics, right? And so last week I gave that list to the staff; then we can start to think through the year and some of the stuff that’s coming up. And so I planned for this Sunday and next Sunday, this topic, so “I’m Not Ok.” And then we’ve got Labor Day weekend there’s “Margins,” and then we’ve got something on Discipleship that will get us kicked off, and then we’re gonna start the study in 1 Corinthians, which I’m really excited about.
And so as I was planning this last week, this would have been really amazing, easy sermon, right? And as I was sharing with Fairmont, I shared with them a little bit. I kind of gave them a recap on the book of Jonah and some of the stuff that I shared with you and some things that was applicable to them. And then I shared with them that one of our desires (or at least one of my desires) for Salem is not to be the biggest church, but to be the healthiest church. And they really liked that. And what I didn’t realize was, you know, again, just when you say stuff like that, and as the leader of our congregation, there’s a lot of testing on your spiritual and emotional health, right?
And so last week when I gave this, I was so excited about this, right? I was gonna challenge you in vulnerability, and then life happened. So good weekend Sunday, and on Monday, my family received some news that kind of just felt like a kick in the face. Have you had some of those moments? Okay, two of us. Okay. So let me just—for those that haven’t experienced that, that’s not fun. Okay? I don’t know if you’ve seen some of those movies, or sometimes on the news, they’ll show somebody that kind of maybe, in Chicago, right, there’s a gang got ahold of somebody, and then they kind of just kicked them, right? And so, that’s what it kind of felt like a little bit on Monday.
And so it was amazing, you know, you plan this, it’s all good, good weekend, and then Monday, and then just like, whoa, life happens. It’s like, how did this happen? How does things like that just so quickly impact your heart? And so I would do—I was trying to figure out how do I get out of today’s message? Really. I was like, “Lord, I would love to just run away. I would love to just say, ‘Testimonies! Let’s just hear testimonies this morning.’” But to be very honest with you, I don’t want to sit here, and I don’t want to share this message. Is it okay if I’m a little raw this morning and honest and vulnerable with you?
A Raw Relationship With Jesus
So I think… Let me get my notes out here. We’ll see how far I go with my notes.
If I invite you to come to my house tonight as a guest, we will probably scramble to get the house ready, okay? We will quickly vacuum; we will do the dishes, that it looks presentable and it’s gonna look like everything is packed away neatly in our house. I can pull that off if you’re visiting for an hour or two. But if you say, “Steven, we lost our house and we’re moving in with you for the next six months,” you will see the raw messiness, and you will see a dirty kitchen, and you will see a floor that’s not vacuumed. Anybody relate? Okay?
It is the same thing with a life of Jesus. When we have a relationship with Jesus, and when we have invited him into our lives, he sees the messiness. He sees the brokenness. He sees the failures. And that’s okay, right? It is not a one-time deal. We can’t be on a place where we’re like, “Okay, Jesus. Just today, it’s Sunday, I’m gonna just vacuum my heart, and it’s all good,” right, when it’s not all good. When Jesus is in our lives and when we have a relationship with him, he sees all those messy areas. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s like, “Oh, I don’t like this.”
Now, I’m all saying some of this, I’m kind of leading up to—I have two messages here for us.
A Judgmental Spirit
Now, when I think about my favorite passage, Proverbs 4:23—you know it, it says that to “Above all else, guard your heart, because life flows from it,” right? And through some of this stuff that happened—and every time you deal with brokenness, it forces you to pay attention to your heart. And you can stuff things away, or you can say, “I’m gonna do whatever I can to seek help, to seek spiritual and emotional health, and I’m gonna bring this before the Lord.” And a lot of times it’s easier to just stuff and hide.
And I think through this process so far—so kind of sermon one: Brokenness, it helps you to become aware of some areas of your life where the Lord needs to come and work.
And so I think I picked up, especially this week, that there was some self-righteousness and maybe a little bit of a judgmental spirit (maybe not a little, maybe a lot) in my life that the Lord is trying to sort out. Now that’s no fun. And I think, you know, when I think about stories or parables like the prodigal son, I rarely identify with the prodigal son. It is much easier for me to identify with the older brother. That’s me. And I think just growing up in church, and then pretty much ending—you know, it’s high school, and I ended up in seminary, and then immediately kind of in ministry. So church has been my world and my life forever.
And I kind of grew up in church. I remember just, you know, as a little boy, the little outfits and the suits, cute little suits my parents would buy me. And it’s like, man, I was cute. Some of those Safari outfits, it’s like, I don’t know what they were thinking, but at least I’m grateful they didn’t have Instagram and social media back then, because that would have been all over, right? But I was cute. And so just kind of like, hey, I grew up in church. And I wonder through some of that, if that developed that self-righteousness and a judgmental spirit in my life.
Now here’s the warning, Romans chapter 2, verse 1:
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
And so just in short, I don’t know if you’ve experienced that, but a lot of times stuff that we pass judgment on is stuff that goes on in our own lives. And sometimes we can get mad and, you know, upset about stuff that we see, but a lot of times, even those stuff is in our lives, and the Lord is calling us to deal with some of those things.
And so, as I think about just this judgmental spirit or self-righteousness, right, a couple of things just as I think about it is: This habit of forming opinions about others hastily and unfairly can distance us from the love and mercy we’re called to show. So when we’re judgmental and self-righteous, it builds this wall between us and other people. And it’s very hard to love and to show mercy, right?
Judgmental attitudes can erode trust and fellowship within a community, create divisions, and lead us away from the path of a Christ-like compassion and empathy. And I’ve noticed that sometimes in my life, when you see, when it was kind of like what I’ve talked about last time about Jonah, and we say, “Those other people.” It’s like, “Lord, bless me. It’s fun to enjoy grace and compassion here in my life, but Lord, zap those people.” Right? And when we have that attitude, boy, that makes it hard, and it steals empathy, and it can steal that compassion in our lives and what God is calling us to share.
It fosters an environment of criticism and negativity rather than one of encouragement and growth. Quote here from our favorite German theologian, right?
“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By the judging others, we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”
So just a powerful quote as we think about just the impact.
Next Steps
And so through this week, kind of just thinking about, at least in my life, how do I deal with this? And so just kind of next steps, I’m gonna do this very quickly. You can write it down or take a photo. Maybe you can relate this morning, but it says, “Instead of looking outward to criticize others, let’s look inward to see how we can grow closer to Christ.” And so again, that Proverbs 4, where it says we are responsible for taking care of our own hearts, right? We bring that to the Lord, we take self-care, but I am responsible. And so a lot of times when we are in pain and when we’re not okay, it is easy to be harsh, to be judgmental, to see other people’s faults.
And so it’s in these moments—if you at all can relate… I have a good friend and I love this friend to death, really love him. I so appreciated him. Just a faithful believer. But over the years, it’s just, man, he’s got nothing good to say. And he’s not in this church; he’s not in our town. And I love hanging out with him, and we spend a lot of time together when we get a chance, but it’s like, man, he’s always so judgmental. It’s frustrating, and I need to have a conversation with him at some point, but then also to realize like, hey, I wonder, is this triggering stuff that is in my own heart? And so to pay attention, to look inside and not just look at external excuses.
Another next step: Ask God to give you a heart of wisdom and compassion, to see others through his eyes rather than through the lens of judgment. Now again, we are living in a very complicated season. And again, with election year, and there’s so many things that wants to form our views of people. And it is really important for us to come to the Lord and ask him, say, “Lord, give me your eyes. Help me to see with compassion and not through the political spectrum and all of these things, and just not with a lens of judgment,” because it takes a lot of energy, and it steals your joy when we do that.
Life is a Story
Thomas Long has got this quote. He says:
“To be human is to live a story.”
Isn’t that true, right? It’s like, when you’re alive and when you’re walking this earth, there’s a story that you write. Some parts has good pieces to it, and some has regrets and hard stories, but we have a story. All of us have a story this morning. And last week I shared this in Fairmont, this quote from James Clears. I think about this story. It says:
“Finding your way in life is like unlocking the combination of a safe. You have to go forward and backwards. Life is not a direct march from A to B. The twists and turns are progress, not regression. What feels like a setback in the moment is later revealed to have been part of the path all along. Each move was necessary to get you to your end goal.”
I believe that when we think of about the passage in Romans, right, where it says where the Lord will use all things, and he will turn it for his good, for those that love the Lord. And so if we’re honest, I wish—probably would have been a little bit boring if life was just kind of this straight line from A to B, but it’s not.
You guys are looking at me weird, like you can’t relate. Is it all straight lines for you guys? Am I…? Okay. You still with me? I’m getting somewhere. Just hang on.
But it is not a straight line. And you know, a lot of times we have dreams, and many times in life those dreams look different. Sometimes those dreams get crushed, and so then how do we adjust? What do we do with that disappointment and failure, and how do you bring that to the Lord?
Cry Out to the Lord
And so this morning, this is our main passage, Psalms 34:15–18, but before I get to that, let me just—I want to just read that whole passage, or at least starting in verse 3. And to give you context, this is David’s testimony. This is a testimony in a sense from David. He’s singing this after going through a lot of brokenness and through some hardships. Right? This is just after he kind of acted insane after running away from the Philistines, so just came through kind of a hard season, obviously he’s got some hard stuff still ahead of him, but listen to his testimony. So psalm 34 says:
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his holy people,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
Verse 15. We’re kind of jumping in here now into our main passage.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to blot out their name from the earth.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Thank you, Lord. May the Lord bless his Word this morning.
So as we look at this passage this morning, I want to just kind of highlight a couple of things here for us. It says that—and I want you to know this—in life and as we go through seasons—because there’s great seasons where we fly high, right? We’re on that mountaintop, and we’re grateful for those moments, but then we have moments where just it sucks, and what do we do in that moment with the Lord? What does our prayer look like?
And as we listen to David’s testimony and these beautiful words that he writes and just in him declaring God’s goodness and this testimony of how God delivered him, what I believe God wants us to know this morning in those moments when we are not okay, we need to know that God hears our prayers. A lot of times when you are in a dark or a difficult spot, sometimes when there is—especially if you struggle maybe with depression, when you’re really in a hard spot, it can really feel (and I say “feel”) like God doesn’t hear and like God doesn’t care. But when we look at the life of David and at his testimony this morning coming through a season of hardships, it says, “God hears our cries.” And I just want you to know that God hears our cries. He hears our prayers, and we got to believe it, that he’s not distant. He’s involved. He was involved in the life of David, and David is celebrating after a season of extremely hard things and sin and brokenness. But for him to be on that place and now a little bit looking back and say, “God, you have heard and you have delivered.”
And so even for us today, just this as a family, for us to cry out. It’s the same thing for us in this moment to say, “We are not okay. We’re dealing with some hard things.” And in the same way, just as you go through hard things, we have to cry out to the Lord. And we’ve been doing it. This has been an intense week of just crying out to the Lord. And I don’t know if you’ve been in some situations where things are outside of your power and outside of your hands, right? It’s like the only thing you can do is to trust the Lord and to cry out to Him.
And when you are a control freak like me, that’s really hard. I feel like I don’t want to wait to just shave my hair if we raise that money. And just by the way, I don’t even know if I should pray for that $20,000 to come in. I don’t look good bald. I’ve done it once for a fundraiser in Fairmont for a missions trip. And yeah, it’s not looking good. I don’t know what—I’m gonna preach with a hat.
But this week, it’s just like, when you’re so frustrated, when you are not in control, it’s like you want to rip out all your hair. But it’s like, that is not gonna help. And it’s that moment to realize, it’s just like, “Lord, I got to trust you, but man, sometimes it’s just so hard.” And to cry out to Him.
In Matthew 11:28 it says Jesus invites all those who are weary to find rest in Him. This promise assures us that our vulnerability in sharing our burdens is met with comfort and rest in his presence. Now, when you’re weary, when you’re tired, when you’re frustrated, as I think about this, and even in the life of David, what I appreciate is that God is not keeping Himself distant to say, “You go and sort out your life first, and then you come.” We have this beautiful invitation from Jesus and say, “You bring your burdens. You bring it to me.” And so that’s what we’re trying to do. To bring some of these burdens.
And it is so good when we look at the rest of that verse, and I don’t have it on the screen this morning, but just for us to know the promise here this morning is this, in verse 18, it says:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
And verse 17 says:
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
And so, although this morning it is hard, and we’re going through, you know, just a challenging time…
Venessa told me this week, she said, “Man, you really got to shave. You’re just all white and gray. And about four years ago, it’s like, man, I had nothing. It was just beautiful, black, and like… and then it’s like, these last four years, it’s like… but to bring that—I don’t know why I shared that. Oh.
You know, it’s just, with brokenness and life, God is faithful. There’s hard things that causes gray hair, but just like you this morning, even though we go through hard stuff, and to be on a place to say, “I am not okay. I know I will be okay. And I know that God will deliver. And I know that the Lord will heal my broken heart.” But just like David, I can look back, and I could sing songs if I had Christo’s gift, right, to sing, to sing of his faithfulness. And so I just know, it’s like, so even though this is painful, I’m grateful, the stuff that he’s already showing me, and just to say, “Okay Steven, you take care of your heart. Bring it to me, cry out, and hold on to the promises.” And so again, if you’re flying high, and it’s all going great today, and you’re just perfect, and you’re okay, praise the Lord! I celebrate with you, and pray for me, pray for my family.
Share Your Burdens
But then, when you are going through things, and when you are not okay, are you willing to share that? And are you willing to be vulnerable? Because to be a healthy church, we need to do that.
So even this week, I was trying to be very intentional on two things. One, I reached out to—praise the Lord for great godly people in my life—and so I was able to reach out to two where it was kind of an appropriate thing to do. And so I kind of just shared with them and asked for prayer. And so just to be vulnerable and to share with them. And I’m so grateful. And like I said, then, to be here this morning, and to just share some of this with you—this is hard. But when we go through pain, and when we’re not okay, will you share, or will you stuff?
A little bit of a shocking—I hope Fairmont is not watching this. When I walked into the church on Sunday, and interacting with some people, there were some people there that were still dealing with the same anger and pain that they dealt with 13 years ago. And there hasn’t been any change in their life. And I was like, “How did that happen?”
And we can, even for us as a family, we can sit here and say, “Oh, we’re gonna just hold on to this brokenness and pain,” and 13 years from now we’re gonna say, “Lord, I’m gonna cry out. I’m gonna trust you for healing in this moment and for restoration. And I’m gonna be open. I’m gonna be vulnerable. I’m not gonna do this by myself.”
And so this is part of why I am going the route that I’m going this morning. So I want you to know this: Our shared experience of brokenness can serve as a powerful bridge connecting us in authentic fellowship. Can I hear an amen?
Oh, I was gonna say the part two of—I reached out to some friends, and then the second thing I did, as I was talking to some people—not everyone. You know, obviously, if I go to Burger King or whatever, it’s like, when people say, “How are you,” I’m not gonna spill my guts. But at least with people here in church, people ask me, “How are you doing?” I would say, it’s like, “Man, this is a tough week.” Because I want to model to you to say sometimes we will not be okay.
And this morning, even as we were singing “It Is Well with My Soul,” I could not sing that in this moment. I will sing it again in the future, but just right now, it is not well with my soul. And it kind of felt good. It’s like, I didn’t try and fake that this morning with the Lord. It’s like, “Lord, I know it will be well with my soul in a couple of days, a couple of weeks. And thank you for restoring. Thank you for this church. Thank you for the work that you’re doing in our lives. Help us to be a place where we don’t run away from brokenness, where we don’t stuff, but where we can come around each other and lifting each other up.”
Compassion
When we go through pain and when we handle it right, it really gives us compassion. It will be hard for us to have compassion if we have never been through things. It is easy to be judgmental if everything is going perfect in your life. And this has been the lesson and the things that I’m dealing with to the Lord, to say, “Lord, I know I will be a better pastor with a capacity for more compassion, more love, going through this season.” And I’m grateful for that.
